Funny Quotes About Life Minion Funny Quotes
The best funny minion quotes images ever! Everyone loves minions and these hilarious minion quotes will put a smile on your face! See more ideas about Minion quotes, Minions funny, funny memes.
1. "My maturity level depends on who I'm with."
2. "In life, you will realize there is a role for everyone you meet. Some will test you, some will use you, some will love you, and some will teach you. But the ones who are truly important are the ones who bring out the best in you. They are the rare and amazing people who remind you why it's worth it."
3. "Some people are just like trees. They take forever to grow up."
4. "I do it because I can, I can because I want to, I want to because you said I couldn't"
5. "Walmart The only place you can get a haircut, eye exam, ice cream, manicure, tires for your car, and witness a real-life "What not to wear" episode."
6. "Common sense is a flower that does not grow in everyone's garden!"
7. "I'm in shape. Unfortunately, that shape is a potato."
8. "Oh, so you wanna argue? Bring it. I got my caps to lock on"
9. "Raise your hand if you think the karma bus is moving too slow."
10. "Roses are red violets are blue, god made me pretty, what happened to you?"
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11. "I don't know about you, but I've thought about running away more as an adult than I ever did as a kid."
12. "I haven't lost my mind. Half of it just wandered off the other half went to look for it."
13. "I'm guilty of giving people more chances than they deserve, but when I'm done. I'm done."
14. "Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair."
15. "I was going to do something, then I got distracted for 5 seconds and forgot."
16. "F.R.I.E.N.D.S (F)ight for you. (R)espect you. (I)nclude you. (E)ncourage you. (N)eed you. (D)eserve you. (S)tand by you."
17. "I may not have lost all of my marbles just yet. But there is definitely a small hole in the bag somewhere."
18. "Never argue with children A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Imitated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah." The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" the little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
19. "After god made me he said TA DA"
20. "If I died I want my friends to keep updating my status to freak people out."
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21. "When cleaning my room: 1% cleaning. 30% complaining. 69% playing with stuffs I just found."
22. "I just had a super busy day today converting oxygen into carbon dioxide."
23. "Fact: people with brown or green eyes are hyper and love to laugh. They tend to be quiet at first, but once you get to know them they never shut up. And make amazing friends."
24. "Happy birthday to a brother who has "The world's greatest sister" dang you're so lucky!"
25. "School life: Most irritating moments – morning alarm Most difficult task – to find socks Most dreadful journey – way to class Most lovely time – meeting friends Most tragic moments – surprise test in 1st period Most wonderful news –the teacher is absent share if you agree"
26. "The nicest people always get treated like shit."
27. "Being single doesn't mean no one wants you. It means God is still busy writing your love story."
28. "They're called 'Man hours' because a woman would have that shit done in 20 minutes!"
29. "I'm a member of the CSI team. Can't Stand Idiots."
30. "Girls will be girls"
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31. "Don't lose your pen Lose your pen = lost pen Lost pen = nothing on paper Nothing on paper = no grades No grades = failing school Failing school = no college No college = no job No job = no money No money = no food No food = skinny Skinny = ugly Ugly =no love No love = no marriage No marriage = no children No children = alone Alone = sickness Sickness = death!"
32. "I think the clutch has gone in my butt… Because I can't get my ass into gear!!"
33. "Never ask Google for medical advice I have gone from a mild headache to clinically dead in three clicks…"
34. "I am "Wonder woman" I wonder where I left my keys, I wonder where I put my purse, I wonder where my money went."
35. "Don't stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It's natures way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror"
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I hate when people see me at the super market & they are like: "Hay what are you doing here?" and I'm just like:
"Oh you know, hunting elephants.
Sarcasm: The ability to insult idiots without them realizing it.
I officially resign from adulthood. Decisions will be made using the eenie-meenie minie-moe method and arguments will be settled by sticking out my tongue. I'll be at recess if you need me.
WARNING. When you drink Vodka over ice, it can give you kidney failure. When you drink Rum over ice, it can give you liver failure. When you drink Whisky over ice, it can give you heart problems. When you drink Gin over ice, it can give you brain Apparently, ice is really bad for you; warn all your friends!!!
Parenting Hack: When punishing your kids, don't take away their electronics. Just take their charger and watch the fear in their eyes as they use it less and less while the battery slowly dies.
Top 36 Funny Minion Quotes You Need to Read and Funny inspirational quotes.
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